When I was ten years old I moved from Suriname to the Netherlands. It was a major shift not just in terms of location but especially culturally. The Netherlands back then thirty-two years ago was different from what it is today. Adapting was a challenge. I felt different not only because of my background but also because of my personality.
I am naturally an introverted person quiet observant and reserved. But I quickly learned that in the Netherlands shyness does not get you far especially not in school. Everyone seemed outspoken and assertive. As a quiet student you stood out not because of what you said but because of what you did not say. I was not popular but I observed everything. Slowly I learned how to hold my own in a world that did not quite feel like mine.
What helped me was my background. In Suriname I grew up among different cultural groups. I saw differences as normal even enriching. So opening myself up to Dutch ways was not difficult. My attitude was often okay this is how you do it that is fine. But I did not always feel that same openness in return.
There were moments when I felt the looks the subtle unspoken judgments as if our Surinamese customs were strange. And I would think should I start seeing your customs as strange too because that is not how I see people that is not who I am.
Over time a lot has changed. There is more awareness more room for difference. But we are not there yet. And yes I say we because I see myself as part of this society. I do not like pointing fingers but I do think critically especially now that I am the mother of a Black son born in the Netherlands.
My upbringing is rooted in Surinamese values respect humility and pride. I have taught my son that no one is better than anyone else that you treat everyone with respect that you address elders politely no first names unless someone clearly says it is okay. That is the foundation I give him and I try to find a balance between Surinamese values and Dutch reality.
What I appreciate about the Netherlands is the diversity. We live among so many different communities. It is not always easy but it is a real opportunity. We can learn so much from one another if we dare to be open instead of rushing to judge. I understand that it can be overwhelming if you are not firmly grounded in yourself. But I have always tried to stay true to who I am and that has never held me back.
Today I work in large corporate environments. I am often in the minority but that does not make me feel insecure on the contrary I want to stand out.
Final Thought
We live in a world full of differences. But differences are not a threat they are an opportunity. An opportunity to grow to connect to become wiser. My story is one of many a story of adapting without losing yourself of standing between two worlds and finding your own way through them.
And that path it is still unfolding.
Love,
Jennifer
